Hobbies

Depression huh?


There are many ways to alleviate feelings of depression, especially seasonal depression. Now I'm not saying there is a way to get rid of all depression, some people are just straight depressed and they can be on medication and it still doesn't help. This isn't about that. This is the kind of depression that happen when things in life go wrong. This pandemic is effecting everyone and many lives are ruined and people are dying. I would rather just sit at home and suffer in silence than try to fix anything myself. I am considered essential so I'm lucky but it's a weird time at work. I shouldn't complain about having a job and being able to work but there is a constant stress here. I leave home to go to work where things are just broken and I spend 10 hours thinking about how the world is ending then I go home and still focus on the negative. There is no relief.


I try to watch happy shows but I also feel like I have to keep up with my other TV shows. Last week I came home from a long/stupid day at work and I watched Station 19 and cried the whole episode then Grey's Anatomy and still cried but not as much. It was rough but also a little cathartic because there is a lot in general to cry about. I have tons of great friends that would love to talk or at least text with me everyday but I find that more depressing then ignoring everyone... I don't know if that is healthy or not but I am so mad at everything so I'm just embracing the anger and isolation. I have trust that as soon as we can go out and be social again this will all be ok but right now it really hurts.

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