Therapy?





So I have to cancel therapy this week. It's my fault because I'm going camping but I actually have something to talk about. Some one at work told me that I'm still co-dependent and it's really hitting me hard because I wasn't until last month. I was fine being all alone and then I went out with friends and I remembered how much I love being with people. I am an extrovert after all, it's in my nature to want to be surrounded... I want a house that I can just have people come to. I think that's what I'm going to turn my next house into. A party house for all my friends to want to come to.


Anyway, since I can't talk to Brian about this I have to talk to you. Is co-dependence bad? I know I can be strong and independent if I want to but do I want to be completely alone? Can I be independent and still have people around? Obviously I like being alone but it causes me to sink into depression and then I'm afraid to leave my hole. I had phases during this quarantine where I would not talk or text anybody for a whole week. That is not healthy for me. I forgot how to communicate. Even at work I would sit at my desk and only talk when I had to. It was not a good time.


I think what I need to work on is being able to have many different friends. Like I don't need to have a clique that I can't be away from. That is where I have my issues. I can have individual friends who I do certain things with. I need to meet people for lunch or dinner or just drinks. I need people that I can be crafty with. I need people that I can hike or work out with. I need friends that will get me out of my comfort zone. And I need them to not all be the same friend. That is my goal for the rest of the year. To find friends that I can do specific things with and to not try to find someone that does everything with me.

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