Next phase of life

So everyone that I talk to on a normal basis knows but I don't really know how to announce to others. But this is where I tell all my secrets. So I guess it's time. I'm pregnant. Yep just over 12 weeks according to how big baby is. No I don’t know what I'm having. And really, I'm not in a hurry to find out. Even just thinking about becoming a parent has me thinking a lot of different thoughts. Things like how do I raise my kid strong and independent and able to think for themselves when they literally don't know how to think at first. I am going to be the one dressing them for the first year at least, I'm going to be the one buying food and they can't tell me what they like yet. Now obviously when they get older they can start telling me those kind of things but we are always very much a product of our surroundings and when does that start? I truly think that my ex never developed a full personality because his mom's was the only one that could fit in the house. I don’t want to stunt my kid like that. I also don't think I will since I think about things like that… But I do have a big personality. And so far the due date is in November which is Scorpio season… A water sign, an emotional but stubborn water sign. And next to my fire… I can literally make them evaporate. Ok mentally make them evaporate. I am very excited for this next phase but I don’t think it's a bad thing that I am also terrified. There are so many new things that I'm going to have to learn and teach and do. And I've never been that person who just wants to hold babies forever. And I'm still in a newer relationship that we're trying to figure out. I mean we moved in together and then the next day I said "fine, I'll take a pregnancy test and prove everyone wrong." And turns out I was wrong. 3 pregnancy tests later I said "ok this might be right" and then I still wouldn't tell anyone until I went to the doctor and they confirmed. And then a month later I heard the heartbeat and that made it real, and then a few weeks after that I saw the ultrasound and that made it real. Every step I feel like it's not real! But really, I've clearly been going through something physical that has never happened before but yet every step it feels more real. Never mind that I have constant morning sickness… and my hips are widening… and my uterus is moving… Turns out I had to see the baby floating in my stomach. And I'll bet when I can see it grow and feel it that will make it real again.