Mandy knows best

I shut down this month. But I kind of had permission to. See the end of October was really trying. I've been feeling like I'm failing at a lot of things this year. I know I'm not alone but I feel very alone right now. I have the best friends but I'm not keeping them around. I don't really push them away but I feel so negative right now and I don't want to push that energy on everyone else so I'm using the same precautions as COVID. If you keep your distance, you can't get them sick... So in an effort to alienate negativity it's worked and I just kind of sit at home by myself all night and sleep all day. Now I say I've been given permission because scorpio season is kind of a more preparatory time. It's all about getting ready for the holidays I guess but also it's Sagittarius next and that's a fire sign which is opposite of Scorpio's water. So November can be pretty emotional but December is more warm and outgoing. Plus I'm...

TV show This show was weird. It has a lot of American Horror Story paralels which makes sense because it's Ryan Murphey and Sarah Paulson. I'm not the biggest fan of Sarah but I get that a lot of people really appreciate her and I appreciate her acting abilities, but she's not for me. And this show was like that. There was a lot of different storylines that I could barely follow and all of it was just so boring. And other than Sarah Cynthia Nixon is the only star power on the show. Which doesn't really matter but actually kind of does for me... Thank goodness this is a short series because I did watch it in a day and then immediately watched something more exciting. This was a twisted show but still so boring. It's only 8 episodes so I don't really have much to say but this is about a nurse who begs to get hired at an asylum for a reason we don't know at first but find out as soon as it becomes relevant. Only later we find out that her nursing certificati...

Movie This is what I watched on Halloween. In theory it was a horror movie, but it wasn't very scary... But it was about Vampires. I had to watch Angel after to get my vampire appreciation back... These Vampires were not hot. We chose to watch this movie because of the star power. Paul Bettany, Karl Urban, Maggie Q, and Cam Digandet in 2011 they were all stars! I was even confused that I didn't already know the movie. But after watching it I knew why I hadn't heard of it. It was so stupid cheesy. Paul was way too serious, Karl was just a weird character and together their story was really hard to follow. Also as someone who has recently left religion the weird undertones they put in this movie was too much for me. It was all weirdly catholic folklore but then Maggie was a priest? I don't know, this movie just didn't make sense and the story was dumb and the acting was too much. And it wasn't scary at all... So uh it's a good chill movie. We ate dinner whi...

This was a triggering show that I can't even remember how I found it but it was the show I needed. This famous, successful writer gets divorced from her husband of IDK 15 years or so? So a long time and a lot longer marriage than mine for sure. But I think it's always hard because when you get married you start planning to have this person with you through the rest of your life and depending on your beliefs eternity... and then it flips and you have to plan everything completely differently. It's not about you not having this person around, it's about planning a whole new life. And there are times when we move forward quickly and times when we have to stop and take a break. Sometimes we try too hard to make something new happen and other times we try to force things to go back to "normal" but all the times we're trying to keep our cool through everything. It's emotional and heavy, even if you know it's for the best. What I liked about this show i...

This was a weird time for me because I usually like Angel a little more than Buffy. Well just differently... Like I really like Angel and Cordelia and their dynamic but I also really like Buffy and Willow. So I don't know what I'm trying to say but I watch a season of Buffy and then a season of Angel and this one was hard because of what happened at the end of Buffy. I mean Buffy died? Did that really happen? So I really just wanted to move on to the next season to see what happened but I also knew Darla and Drusila came back to LA to mess with Angel so I was also ready to see that... But Buffy ya know. And this season was weird! There was a lot of in-fighting between the group and I didn't like it. I like seeing Angel make friends and care about people and it stresses me out when he becomes anti-social. And maybe even triggering to me because I am feeling anti-social currently. There was a lot of action in this season too. I mentioned Darla and Dru but they are just a sm...

So remember that contractor I hired in August to start working on my house? Yeah he never did that... And eventually quit talking to me about it taking a while. I ended up reporting him to the licensing department... But it worked and he gave me back my money and even brought me a gift... And then asked me out for drinks... But I got a new contractor who I called on Thursday and he met me at my house 3 hours later and then started working the very next day. So this should be quick and then I can rent it out and make the money back! But this guy will cost me more... But as long as we can get it done quick I don't care. I'm so excited to be going. And I have a system to keep track of spending still. So I will keep you guys posted but for now I am cautiously optimistic.

This season got surreal. Buffy was all out of sorts. We get introduced to a new sister, we have relationship turmoil, we have other family turmoil. There was a lot of it that I didn't know if I should believe it or not. Towards the end of the season the cast kind of gets lost in a fog that lasts until the end of the season. I barely remember the beginning of the season because the end was so dark. But I will say the whole season is trippy. I came to the end and was ready to keep going all day but then I realized I had to watch the correlating Angel season first and I'm a little bummed. But it affects Spike in a big way so I had to know what was happening. And I love Angel so it wasn't exactly torture... But I was a little put off because the finally of this season was a big one and I don't know how it returns for more. Speaking of, Spike takes on a bigger role and I kind of love it. You get to see how he was as a human and how his prior life has shaped him. I loved ge...

So a couple days ago I was reading my horoscope. I'm a sagittarius so we're officially in the time before my time to shine. So my horoscope says it's ok to take this time to rest up because Sag. time is coming and everything will be ok. I really took to this notion because I am so stressed that I have to count the dumbest things as wins. Like the contractor I hired and paid to fix up my house screwed me over and 3 months later hasn't even been to my house since receiving my money and my key, so eventually I had to report him and I got my money back. Now I have to start completely over but I got my money back. It's not actually a win, it's more of a forfeit but I have to count it because I have nothing in my life left to count. The divorce for some reason hasn't gone through even though I swear I did everything I was supposed to. So I have to go back to the courthouse to file more paperwork then wait 3 more weeks and then who knows what after that. And to to...