Mandy knows best

On July 6 it will be a month since I've watched TV. Like I said in my last post, there were some days where I told myself I could just sit down and watch yet I haven't. I was able without even trying to find something else to do. I felt so clear about being able to keep this going but anxious about everything else in my life. You know how I've been saying all year how I just need a solid but quick romantic fling so that I can be all about another person but also not worrying about committing to them. I've found a couple people who I've thought could be that. Online I've found multiple people who were willing to fill that role. However, making it happen was a different story. A couple months ago I was introduced to a guy who knew I mostly just wanted to feel comfortable enough with a person to be able to orgasm... I have never been able to do that with another person. It's in my head, I know that so I want someone to get past the block and I'll be able to...

Ok so I have stopped watching TV. It's not even on purpose at this time I just have other things to do. It's actually fantastic and I feel so good about this decision. However, that is a big part of this blog. But the name of this blog is Mandy Knows Best, right? So it should be a good thing that as I evolve so should this blog. I think it has but I'm ready to evolve again. I'm not saying I'll never write about TV and movies again but I clearly won't have the content if I stick to those right now. I might change it again pretty soon but for now I think I'm going to do a life update on Wednesday and a tarot pull on Saturday. See about 2 weeks ago I started doing this as a journal prompt and I really like it, so I've decided to try something similar here. I think I can hold the space to make the card pull less focused on me and more focused on a general public. Obviously, this won't apply to everyone here because I don't really know who my audience...

Here I am 2 and a half weeks without TV, and I'm not missing it but I'm still anxious about it? So yesterday I told myself I could just go home and watch TV until it's time for bed but then I didn't. I made dinner, I hung out with my dogs, I talked to my parents, then I journaled and went to bed? That is not like me! So I'm starting to get excited that maybe I am turning over a new leaf and I won't have to be tied to the tv. I recently wrote about how alive I felt but I think I'm tired of that too. Like maybe I went too hard and now I need to fully rest? But also I haven't been taking my sleeping pills. I kind of forgot that I even had them. But honestly I wanted to really live in the moment last week… Because I'm not sure I've ever completely lived in the moment and embraced actual feelings. So I actually plan to completely take a nap in the sun while in the pool on Thursday. If I get burnt or sick who cares because I just want to chill. I hav...

Another non-fiction book but this one is true crime. I've been following Billy Jensen since the Golden State Killer was caught. I had heard about the book he released in the name of at the time recently deceased Michelle McNamara. Billy had almost an instant interest in true crime but as a journalist, he couldn't make money doing that. For a long time he kind of did it for free while writing articles on anything and everything. This book is about how he chased the solve for most of his life. When he moved to California he connected with Michelle and that was kind of the catalyst for him finally making a real name for himself. I am so confident that he has spent more money trying to solve these cases than he ever has with his writing. But isn't that such an inspiration, he saw a need and he did what he could to fill the need. Currently I know of 2 podcasts that Billy hosts and although I can only find time to listen to one of them, I really want him to finally be able to ...

This is a self help book... But it was written by a comedian so it's not lame... Tara Schuster is the author. Anyway, like any self help book this gives a lot of advice. Some of it is helpful while some of it is something that only works for a few people. But the concept of reparenting will be helpful for anyone. It's this theory that we're raised in a certain way that gives all of us trauma but, we don't have to stick with our upbringing. We all have the ability to re-raise ourselves. We can tear down the personality traits and the toxicity that we were raised in and become our own people. I think I knew that at a certain level, I did leave my religion at 30 while also dropping my political views, my views on control, and in a way my body issues. But then internally I still consider myself a "heathen" and when I talk about my religion I say "we". There are plenty of things that I'm still severely fucked up about. A concept that Tara talks abo...

So on Tuesday I woke up early and went to the lake with Lish, Chala and all of their wonderfully adorable dogs. It was an adventure though not what I call fun... Charles does not like the paddle board... But he's so cute on it! So Lish barely even got on the lake before deciding that this was not going to work. So she took Charles and the paddleboard back up to the car and put it away. After Chala and I had gone out a little bit we decided that we would go back and just hangout on the beach with them. Lish even made us snacks! How cute is that? So we ate them while the dogs ran around us and got everything so freaking dirty. It was an adventure. I love all those dogs so much though so it was still fun. Oh I also got a couple texts from some guy that I went on a couple dates back in February maybe? I couldn't believe he texted me again. He yelled at me and told me not to call him again because I didn't answer his calls! Um sorry, your phone doesn't text? Ha I know that...

Guys, I'm going to tell you about my week starting from last Thursday. It is now Friday so really like a full week. I don't know what happened as Mercury is in Retrograde so I have been really focusing on not making big moves. But last Thursday, even though it was a work day I went over to my friend's house to meet her new boyfriend. It was going to just be a chill night. We had a fire, roasted smores and starbursts and basically just hung out by the fire. Chill in absolutely the best way. 2 of my best friends were there at first and I had met the roommate once and this couple that I had met previously at parties with my host friend but the boyfriend and his friend are the only ones I hadn't met before. So I was a little nervous because I get nervous when I don't know what to expect and with this friend I didn't know who she would invite. At first I thought it would be a pretty small get together but then our other friend told me that there would be 10 or so peo...

I went on another vacation last week, It was very chill but kind of perfect. We really didn't do much but that was exactly what I wanted to do. I had 2 plans going into the week and those were paddle boarding and hiking (the hiking we actually skipped but I wanted to skip it.) From the drive down to St. George, Veronica and I talked and ranted about the world around us. It was 3 hours about why men still seem in charge with some complaints about work and having to work as much as we do and still having no money… It was a fun drive that only turned political when we stopped in Beaver to get ice cream… We got to St. George and couldn't find our AirBNB. It was so annoying, it was in a group of condos that were all in alphabetical order and we were in X. So we drive the long way around thinking that we can take a mini tour while we drive. ABCDEFGHIJKLZY was all we found… How weird is that! So we park and walk around thinking we must have missed a street or something. We did not, a...

This week was something let me tell you! Well first off let me tell or remind you that with my work schedule I tend to think of 14 days as a week because of my work schedule… In my mind it makes sense. So when I say this week I mean the one that started May 18 and ends May 31… So now to the excitement, I came into work basically on my Monday to my department telling me I need to train the rest of the larger department how to do something that didn't exist when I left the week before… So I spent 30 minutes learning and then went out and taught 50 people how to do this new process that we just started. That took up my first day. And my best friend decided that she wasn't going on the trip we had planned for our weekend… The trip that I had already spent $500 on an AirBNB for… So that was cool. The second day I tried to take it slow but almost immediately I was given a list of other people on other teams that had to be trained as well so I felt like I had to do it immediately. ...